Where have I been?
This is hard.
In 2020, I was lucky enough to get married. It was a glorious culmination, a high point of a long, sometimes bumpy, road. We were best friends for twelve years and had shared a world of travels, of adventures and memories. Two loving souls, absolutely what the other needed and hoped for in this life. But, my new wife was soon to be diagnosed with cancer. A new road was before us, a desperate and brutal one. Kirsty showed a shocking bravery, unwavering class and endless love. Over last winter, she passed away.
This is not something I have, or will, be discussing on social media, or anywhere else, publicly. I’m a private person, we both were, and the digital space I’ve built has never been about me. I’m very aware this is an incongruous and seemingly incompatible position to take in today’s world of blogging and influencing, where unexpressed thoughts are like hen’s teeth…..but I just don’t particularly want to share my day-to-day story, let alone the very painful chapters. If it’s not relevant to my Scotland travels, I’ll continue to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself*. I’m not saying that’s right or wrong, it’s just me.
The only reason I’m bringing it up here is because this is my website, my unshared corner of the digital world and, if you are here as a regular visitor, you had certain expectations of me and not seeing a blog post for a year wasn’t one of them. Many of you have been extremely loyal and kind followers over the decade I’ve been doing this, encouraging and inspiring me to push myself further into Scotland’s drizzly mist, and that’s something I remain very grateful for. There have been a lot of enquiries over the last 2-3 years, I’ve tried to answer them all individually but I apologise for not being more present with your usual Scotland inspiration.
*Apart from Harris’ puppy pics. I’ve always conceded there’s space for an exception there.


What I have managed
Upon moving to the Highlands last year, it was immediately clear that I was entering a culture of social contribution. A little alien as it is to the city boy, the community vibe is strong. You’ve got to bring something to the table, whatever that may be.
I did what I’m good at; I re-structured local tourism strategy. I helped secure a hefty amount of government funding for positive and long-term marketing projects across the West Highlands. I designed a new website for the area and its tourism businesses, created a very exciting new podcast series, and brought some of the best videographers, bloggers and photographers in the land to my corner of the Highlands to help with the aim of making tourism less summer-dependent and reactive, and a greater source of employment. These objectives, I am convinced, are fundamental to arresting the housing crisis for the Highlands and Islands and making it an affordable place for young people to live. This remains one of my absolute drivers.


My medieval novel remains on pause. I’ll get to it, but it requires the kind of total focus that is a while away yet. The same goes for my history book of Glasgow, the aim is to get that back to the publishers in spring/summer 2023. I co-wrote a Lonely Planet book last year, it’s on bookshelves now but it will be my one and only foray into that style of writing. I’ve written the odd article, joined the odd radio chat and rambled in the odd webinar and I’ve done my best to keep you updated on these bits and pieces on the social channels.
What next
Also hard.
I really don’t know. I’ve turned down a lot of projects in the last two years, and have focussed on other areas of work. For the most part, I found that easy. Surprisingly, troublingly easy, and not just for cancer-related reasons. I’d become very concerned at what had become of tourism, and walking away felt necessary for more reasons than one. Covid exacerbated a lot of the issues but sustainability, conservation and environmentalism have been on a dangerous collision course with travel for considerably longer than we have all been held in the pandemic’s web. Gimmicks trumped considered strategy, commercialisation eroded heritage and selfishness broke the spirit of hospitality. Tourism was an absolute mess last year.
What I can say is that the recent return of international visitors, this year’s considerable drop in anti-social tourism behaviour and the bustle of economic activity for countless innovative and resilient businesses is greatly encouraging. Maybe we can turn it around and build something sustainable that’s in greater harmony with communities and the environment. Perhaps that will be enough to tease me back into the game too, I hope so. Scotland remains a comfort, surrounded by and immersed in some of the world’s most soulfully beautiful landscapes every day, and I will find inspiration there again. It just might take a different, certainly less commercial, form.

There’s a long way to go. I’ll dip my toe rather than dive in and will continue to take on only the projects that are compatible with what I need at this challenging point, and that I calculate would still raise a few eyebrows among you. In the meantime there will be lots of contemplative wanders as I turn to my two great comforts – Harris and the hills.
For now, thanks for sticking with me, I will be back. From Scotland, safe travels.




Hi Neil,
Great to here from you, but so sad to hear your news, my sister lost her battle with cancer just over a year ago and as only siblings it leaves a big hole. Fortunately I was able to head over and spend her last few months doing hospice at home with her.
Heading back over mid month to close out some family business and then will be up to Edinburgh and then off to Loch Inver for ten days to clear my head! Will most likely be my last trip “home” , but one never knows…
Take care my friend and whichever road you take in the future I am sure will benefit from your love for our country!
Andy Gifford
Blessings and Peace to and for you!
Gosh! You are a brave and good man. You give hope and pleasure to the many who read and see your work!
How utterly shattering, wholly devastating.
Thank you for your honesty and bravery, I honour your grief.
M
Sending love and hugs from Canada
I was happy to receive this in my inbox this morning. My husband and I have been planning a trip to Scotland (he’s a Macpherson) for three years but my daughter’s two weddings [Covid postponement] and Covid prevented us from making it a reality. I started planning in earnest at the first of this year and hopefully we’ll be in Scotland at the end of September for almost 4 weeks. Fate stepped in on the 3rd of June when my husband was diagnosed with multiple myeloma.. So far he has responded well to treatment. Life changes in an instant I’ve learned. My heart goes out to you with prayers for strength and comfort. May God be with you, young man.
I had tears as well as smiles trading this. I retired from M. D. Anderson Cancer Center in August 2019. I have a certification in grief management and am perfect to have around in circumstances like yours. But I get why you kept it to yourself fors so long and I support your thoughtful decisions. As to all you’ve accomplished in your new home, wow! Your new home beach is on my list to see this year as a friend and I travel Scotland for 6 weeks. Maybe this horrid 2 years away got some tourism kinks ironed out. I hope so. Following you since 2014 and still thankful for your detailed bespoke itinerary work which made me fall in love with the western Highlands and islands.
Good to hear from you again Neil albeit tinged with the sad news of your personal life.
You are still a young man and I wish you well for your future
Allan the Wingly Pilot
Dear Neil,
I do not know you and only a recent subsriber to your blog.
But I do just want to say, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Kirsty. My heart goes out to you. May those wild hills indeed be of comfort to you, and not to forget Harris of course.
Kind regards,
Diana
Very sorry to hear of your loss, I did wonder about where you went. I vacationed in Scotland 6 times before Covid. I loved every day spent there visiting your beautiful country.. a seventh trip was canceled due to Covid, now the world has just turned upside down. Thank you for your inspiration and showing what a beautiful place your country is
I wish you well in your future endeavors
Marie Pedretti
Thank you for such an honest and open blog. I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you are well supported and will find solace in the Scotland you love. Best wishes, Mary…just back from 9 days on Outer Hebrides
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing your last year of events and tribulations. I am glad to hear you have been examining and self study while making major contributions to your beautiful homeland. We have travelled three times to Scotland and driven to every corner of the mainland, southern Hebrides, and Orkney. We love the country and the people as well. We have made fast friends in Orkney and we stay in touch. Over the years traveling there, we have seen the great abundance change (preCovid) in tourism numbers, and have heard and understand the issue for Scotland; tourism success vs environmental/infrastructure concerns. From my heart, I pray the infrastructure can endure as wild and natural as it is today, yet allow tourism to flourish in tandem with the long term needs of the country. I’m only 7% Scottish, but with a family name of Stewart/Suart, I sometimes feel much closer to my Scottish Heritage then my English Heritage which is 76%. Wish all the best for you as each day moves forward with blessings. Look forward to your next travels. Linda King from Florida USA
Glad you have found your way back, min. That is all.
Your beautiful words arrived to me in my bed in the west End of Glasgow where I’m isolating with Covid. I just arrived in Scotland from Australia via london snd Ireland so thought you must have sensed my arrival. It’s seven years since my adored husband died of a brain tumour and I’m just beginning to find a new way of living. Do read Julian Barnes, Levels of Life. It was a comfort to me somehow.
Your photographs are stunning and give compensation for my inability to explore your beautiful country on this visit. I will have to leave as soon as I have recovered.
I look forward to receiving your blog.
Love and hope xx
Jane
Neil, I’m so very sorry for your loss. You write so eloquently of the beauty and wonder of Scotland, as well as the grief of heartbreaking loss. I know her spirit is always with you, and may the memories bring you peace. I look forward to your next email whenever you are back to writing them.
Best regards,
Charlotte Cole
Please accept my sympathies on your loss. Grieving the loss of a spouse is a life long event (I know from personal experience). Good for you for taking your time to see where your heart leads next. I hope it is with the occasional post. I was fortunate enough to visit Scotland in the fall of 2019. It is such a beautiful place but it’s beauty is really not supportive of large crowds. Edinburgh and Arthur’s Seat can handle crowds – other places, not so much. I hope that you do post occasionally because it is so enjoyable to return vicariously.
So good to hear from you! We are coming for a second visit to Scotland in September. We had planned to come in April but my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. Yes, life changes and we accommodate the change. You too will follow the path that you must. Stay the course and if you don’t know where it leads – no worries – it will find you.
Donna Cannon
Georgia USA
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and Harris are in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward to a new future. I love seeing your posts and photos and look forward to seeing what’s next. I hope to one day be able to visit Scotland. Your travels really show the beautiful country of Scotland! Thank you, Candy Collins
Dear Neill, I am so sorry for your loss.
There’s nothing more shattering, than losing a beloved one. No more word’s needed.
You are doing great, to just look forward and keeping your head up, as hard as it’ll be at some of the days….
I’m looking forward to your next story’s and adventures and will be always interested in it.
Take care and I wish you well.
Anja
So sorry Neil, losing a soulmate is beyond words
Hi Neil, I was so excited to see your new post in my email this morning. Then I read about you losing your wife to cancer. I’m so sorry. Cancer is so evil. It takes so many good people. So unfair.
I’ve enjoyed your posts for years and I will look forward to hearing about your future endeavors, whenever you’re ready. Until then, enjoy your Highlands with Harris.
The last few years have been so much upheaval for so many people and families, loved ones lost. My husband passed unexpectedly two yrs ago. Not sure it has gotten easier, just do-able. All the best on your future paths. Continue to take the time needed.
Dear Neil.
What a terrible news to read. My thoughts are with you. Take care!
Raymond – The Netherlands
Remember my friend
Life is a journey not a destination, it’s all about the people we meet along the way.
Love and light always
I am so very sorry for your loss Neil. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I wish you all the best. I’m glad you find some peace in the hills with your pup.
Hugs!
Meggie in South Carolina
Hi Meggie,
If you ever pass through Murrells Inlet South Carolina give us a shout and we can share all things Scottish!!!
Andrew Gifford
Neil,
My heart aches for you. I have followed your blog for many years and am sincerely touched that you would share both your experience and your feelings with us. How wonderful that you were able to experience the glories of a loving relationship but devastating to have it end so soon. You are wise to take your time in grieving and healing. We’ll still be here when you’re ready to share again. Thank you for using this time to pursue positive pathways that will benefit the wider world, and hopefully you as well. Blessings to you – and Harris! Deb
Hello from the US,
I found your blog through social media a few years ago as I went through a personal health struggle. On days that felt like I’d never make it through, I thought, I’ve got to so that I can see all these wonderful places Neil goes! I’m on the mend now, but the pandemic has limited my opportunity to travel—though I know I will get there one day! I thank you for helping me through, even though there was no way for you to know it.
I’m so sorry to read of the loss of Kirsty. I hope it is a comfort to know you have many across the globe thinking of you during this difficult time. Please take your time and honor your journey through the grief; we will be here to support your next project, whatever and whenever it may be.
Please give Harris a belly rub on my behalf. He is truly a good boy.
Best to you,
Nicole R.
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, especially so soon after your marriage. It’s devastating to lose your soulmate. My husband died from a brain tumour twelve years ago when we were living in Fort William. We loved it there but only had a year to enjoy it. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I will relive our time there through your column. Best wishes from Derbyshire to you and Harris.
Patricia
Neil – Sorry to hear of the loss of your wife Kirsty. Your contribution to sustainable and socially responsible Scottish travel is commendable and look forward to supporting your future endeavors.
Best regards
Glad to hear from you again. So very sorry for your loss. I visited Scotland in 2019. It is my ancestral home and I was able to visit family in the lowlands near both Glasgow and Edinburgh. I subscribed to your blog when I arrived home and have enjoyed your writings and photos immensely. I still feel connected and thru your travels can see and know all the nooks and crannies that I missed.
Landscapes and peaceful surroundings are very healing. May you and Harris continue to enjoy your space and thank you for sharing it with the rest of us. Also your work on environmental issues is so hopeful.
Peace be with you.
Sandra
Mississippi, USA
You have brought so much joy to so many through your words describing our beautiful country, such wonderful descriptions of the places you visit and an easy gentle way about you. Having been in this situation myself I know how raw and awful cancer can be, you left a very kind comment on my response to your blog about Mull.
Please be kind to yourself and yes a new direction and road will open up.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
Hello from Canada,
I have followed your blog for a few years and more avidly in early 2020 just as I was planning a trip to Scotland. I was about to book my ticket when Covid hit. Thank you for letting us know about your loss and reason for your silence. I am so sorry you’ve had to go through this. All the best to you.
To quote someone else: Let hope beckon you ever onward in your quest to survive, and finally, to begin to heal.
Such sorrow to hear of your beloved wife’s passing. There is hope for your future. I’ll await your next blog with anticipation. Take your time!
All the best from Canada!
It was so good to hear from you. As always, I continue to look forward to your blog, to your thoughts and perspectives and to your journey. Thank you for sharing. Keep on keeping on in step with your own drummer. Take are of yourself.
Condolences from Ottawa Canada, best wishes for the road ahead.
I was so happy to see your post appear in my inbox but then so saddened to see the reason for your long absence. I found your blog because I was doing research for a novel that takes place partly along the northwest coast, from Tongue to Skye, following a hitchhiking trip I had myself taken there after finishing a year abroad in 1985. In fact, I had, in fact, finalized plans to return to the area in March and April of 2020, but as you can imagine, that trip had to be cancelled. In the meantime, I have continued my writing, using blogs like yours and youtube videos (try searching “A838 Tongue to Durness”) to help me retrace my steps on the page..
If you are looking to these comments for encouragement, I would like to say that I think there is a need for more thought into how to discourage “anti-social tourism” and encourage tourism that has at its core a concern for “sustainability, conservation and environmentalism.” I would love to learn more about how I can be that traveler that treads with a light foot and leaves more than I take from the places I visit. A blog that focusses on these issues would be something I would want to follow.
I look forward to listening to the podcast, and to seeing another blog post from you sometime soon.
best wishes and be well, sadie
Neil…I was excited to get today’s email from Travels with a Kilt, just as I’m packing for my first trip/tour since COVID. I’m heading to the Canadian Maritimes to get a little wiff of sea air and see where the Scots first landed in North America. I’ll meet up with a college friend in St. John’s, Newfoundland. If my aging body handles this well, I’ll schedule a return to Scotland in 2023 if 2024.
I send my condolences about your personal tragedy. It’s sad that you two won’t share years of future hill climbing together. But Harris is ready to go along.
I’ve checked out your articles and podcasts again, and am impressed by the projects you have accomplished, they contribute important ideas to your new Highland community. I’ll look forward to your future posts when you are ready.
I was absolutely thrilled to receive this email this morning, then I read the first part. Came back to reply now and of course am so sorry to hear of your wife’s passing. As Lord Tennyson said: “it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all”.
Of course take your time getting back into things! I look forward to reading and listening to and updates or podcasts. I know your pausing your novel writing, but still looking forward to it one day!
Neil
I have missed your blogs but can only add to everyone else’s comments and wish that your future looks brighter. Sending you positive vibes.
Andy
So sad to hear your news, sending much love your way. Inspired by your wonderful blog and amazing photos , myself and my husband took our small caravan to Stonehaven this year. We have never travelled to the East of Scotland before, and we were blown away by how beautiful it was. As an amateur artist and visitor I was thrilled to visit Stonehaven, Catterline, Dunnottar Castle, Pennan (Local Hero Fans!) St Cyrus Bay, Aberdeen and then on to the Kelpies and Stirling. Such stunning peaceful and magical places. Scotland is a truly special place. XXX
Ooooh dear Neil, I’m so sorry to hear the loss of your wife.
I send you my condoleances, I hope the surrounding of your beautiful country will help to heal the pain.
With love & hugs,
Carla
Apeldoorn, Holland
Dear Neil
Tough doesn’t come near describing what you’ve been dealing with. I am so sorry to hear of your wife’s death. Treasure the memories of your time together and feel blessed to have spent the amazing times you enjoyed.
Your work to promote Scotland is a wonderful reflection on your personality. I hope you receive the recognition you deserve.
When I next visit my father’s homeland it will be a privilege if I bump into you along the way.
Take care and let Harris look after you the way a dog understands how you need their support .
Very best wishes
Anne
One of my favourite verses from home is
“May the best ye’ve ever seen
Be the worst ye’ll ever see”
Take care, my friend.
Yours aye,
Gordon
I just want to say, that I’m sorry for your loss. I look forward to future blogs. Thank you.
Oh Neil, I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the courage it took to post this. I pray that you receive the support and comfort you need during this devastating time. I would guess I can probably speak for many of us who follow your blog, that’s it’s not just what you share about Scotland that we enjoy – we like you as a person as well. So please, take care of yourself first, however long you need! We’ll be around.
Dear Neil,
I found your blog and fell in love with your love of Scotland when researching for my trip the summer of 2017. Who knew that shortly after that trip, on Christmas day 2017, my husband of 15 years would pass away suddenly from a heart attack, leaving behind 2 young daughters also. Reading about your loss hurt my heart for you. I understand fully the need to retreat and heal, not knowing exactly how that’s done or how long that takes. I don’t think you ever truly get rid of the grief, it just changes. Thank you for sharing and here’s to sending you healing love.
Take care,
Debbie
Hi Neil. I was very sad to read this email and send my heartfelt condolences. I love your work and hope to see you and Harris enjoying the Scottish Highlands in the future.
Hi Neil,
I was wondering where you’d gone, and I’m so sorry. Good to read this entry, take your time and just be you. Your neck of the woods is just so beautiful and inspiring, and the right place to take solace when needed. looking forward to your future writing as you find the time.
Oh Neil, it was heart-breaking to read about the loss of your beloved Kirsty. Sending you and Harris big hugs and my warmest wishes, take care x
May you have comfort and peace with your wonderful memories of your beloved wife. So sorry that you have walked this sorrowful journey. Thank you for your beautiful pictures and comments about the “Motherland”❤️🏴God bless you. Jan
Hello Neil,
Just like many people who commented before me I was happy to find your e-mail newsletter in my inbox while spending a week on the beautiful Isle of Mull and sad to find out the reason for your absence.
Please take care of yourself and take as much time as you need to heal. I am sorry for your loss.
Best wishes from Germany
Tanja
I was reading an O. Douglas book and somehow was prompted to google “is there a Scots typical character” and found your blog post and thoroughly enjoyed it.
(Reading about your stunningly beautiful country in novels is what gets me through darker days. And, dreaming of putting on my boots and walking into the misty green again. So happy to add your blog to the many mailing lists about Scotland.)
I’m a former oncology nurse and now work in mental health and specialize in grief and loss. Your recent post about your wife gutted me despite only knowing you from afar these few little moments. Take care. Sending strength.
December 16, 2022
Hi Neil!
I am one of your followers over the last 3-4 years. I wanted to post back in July after hearing your sad news of your wife. I was saddened of your loss. Hope you are doing well, and I wish you a loving and blessed holiday season.
I haven’t seen any emails, posts or on FB in a while and was hoping I haven’t missed them. Hoping you will continue your journey of photography of breathtaking Scotland landscapes and more. If you are on another platform, please let me know.
All the best,
Judy Konrath
Atlanta, Georgia USA
Hi Judy,
Andrew here, your neighbor here over in South Carolina, you may want to check out Scotland’s Mountains on You Tube, Murray the host does a great job of covering Scotland’s fantastic scenery and it has its own charm and of course a good Scottish sense of humor!
I’m so very sorry Kirsty died. How devastating.
Losing one’s soul mate so young into your lives together cannot be underestimated in any way. I send my deepest condolences to you. I hope time is helping you heal.
I’m a native fellow Scot and look forward to reading your blog and exploring more of our beautiful country.
I am so so sorry for your loss. It is hard to “return to life” as you knew it after a loss. Reading this blog made me sad but also I read a hopeful future for you as you determine where your path forward will lead you. My heart is in Scotland and I’m only 8% Scot, and it makes my heart smile to hear how you (and others) are working on how to protect her heritage, maintain her soulful infrastructure while allowing the world to experience the wonderfulness that is Scotland. I have seen the results of the tourism influences between 2014 thru 2019 which were scary to me for the future protection of the land and it’s history. It is truly a fine balance between economic vs environmental heritage. I am confident that you will be instrumental in your own way to continue to lift Scotland up as a world example of how to find the “bridge” for the country long term. Best wishes and prayers for you. Look forward to your next blog, no matter how far into the future it may be..🙏🏻💕
Neil,
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your wife. Undoubtedly a woefully inadequate sentiment, but true. I hope that the time you are taking for yourself is helping with the pain in some small way.
I do hope that you will return and write again. I have so enjoyed your blogs.
Be well and take all the time you need.
Mary
Sorry for your loss. I lost my husband of 36 years April 2022. I understand. Take care
Hi Neil,
As i am planning to visit Scotland for photography, i discovered your website and your latest so sad message.
I am really so sorry for your loss.
Really hope you’ll have the strength to live an happy life again…
Best Wishes,
Just came to your website via YouTube, where your Outer Hebrides Guide video showed up in my feed. My condolences on your loss, I can only imagine how devastating it must have been and certainly still is. Don’t know what else to say, unfortunately. Look after yourself and surround yourself with good people.
I stumbled on your blog while trying to figure out how to relate with my new found, first real life Scots friend. I have always been captivated with movies like Brave heart, but never given a thought to topics of discussion if I ever ran into a Scotsman…
My deepest condolences, I sincerely pray for grace and strength for you to keep walking, one step at a time. Sometimes, when even one step seems too hard, try concentrating on one breath at a time.
X